So, recently one of my best friends, JW, gave me a lecture on doing something for myself. JW pointed out that I am not selfish as I sometimes feel, but JW claimed that I deny myself many things/opportunities because of commitments I have made to others. When I disagreed, JW began listing things: "You couldn't come visit me earlier this year because you felt too committed to work and the others in your department. You stick around when you'd rather be elsewhere because you are thinking of others first." JW went on - and I kind of blew it off, so I can't remember the entire argument.
Well, I suppose JW's argument had some sort of effect on me because I've made plans to go visit JW next month. I'm taking off for more than a week and I'm going to visit a friend I haven't seen in over three years, I think, now. And another thing about it - I don't feel bad for doing it. Others are going to have to pick up the slack while I'm gone, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. I still have to repeat that to myself to make sure I believe it. Sometimes you don't know what you really believe until you vocalize it. I'm really excited about this. I feel like I'm making decisions to be in a place in my life where I belong.
I decided last night to say a prayer of thanksgiving. I didn't ask a single question or make any demands or requests for myself or others. I simply thought about any needs I perceived and gave thanks for knowledge I have that somehow related to that issue or need. It's amazing how much effort that takes to refrain from asking for anything in prayer - even on another's behalf. Those kinds of prayers, I think, serve a slightly different purpose than seeking blessings. It's refreshing to seek only to see the blessing you already have. I think it's probably refreshing to Him as well.
My DS made an interesting comparison the other day. She said that maybe she ought to take a page out of the Spirit's book and function with her family through more of a still, small voice than any other way. When she's ignored, she would withdraw until her family sought her out - probably when they were hungry. What an interesting parallel that can be. It makes you think about how you've treated your mother or father. . . . and how you treat the Holy Spirit. He's one of the members of the Godhead, and yet an astonishing number of us pay little heed to His attempts to influence us. I need to pay attention and follow more frequently.
Have you ever had a moment in your life, when looking at some capacity in which someone else is functioning and the thought crosses your mind, "you'd better prepare to do that." Not that you seek to be there - in fact it would be very intimidating to operate in that capacity - nevertheless you have that thought. It makes me wonder what's in store for me. I've also wondered that about my siblings. What is in the future for each of us? Time will tell, and it'll be for our best good and welfare as we work to hear and follow the promptings we receive just a little more valiantly.
It's a goal.
No comments:
Post a Comment