Did You Get My Message?!

Okay, okay. Enough with the repetition. I got the message. I was giving it another chance before I made any firm decisions. There's no denying that my attempts at breaking the ice with the people in my new ward were met with iceberg-like responses, but I get that sometimes you have to give it a little more time to take.

Two weeks ago, I decided to go to the Ward Opening Social. Sounds fun, doesn't it?! Okay, so I wasn't expecting anything overly spectacular, but I was hoping to meet someone who was feeling friendly enough to open the door and invite me in when I came a knockin' (figuratively speaking). One doesn't sit a a table with strangers and, after the traditional name and current occupation/studies exchange, expect to witness the following discussion between two of the strangers who've been in the ward for a bit and already know one another. (Names might have been changed to protect the guilty.)

Without looking up from her hot dog, Debbie casually began, "so, Julie. I was thinking and. . . I realized I have enough friends. I've decided that I'm not making any new friends at the moment."
"Well, Debbie. I'm glad I'm already your friend, then." Julie glanced toward the new girl sitting next to Debbie as a look of horror at what had just been said and implied flashed in her eyes.
The damage was done and the new girl realized that of all the people sitting down to dinner, she sat next to the one person who had filled her quota for friends. STEEEERIKE ONE!
As this new girl went for a walk around the park, she wondered what she had gotten herself into. She circled back around and spent the next 15 minutes mustering up enough courage to barge into another group of people to try and "break the ice." As she looked around, she saw a group of a few people having some fun chatting to one another. She almost decided to go say hello when one of the guys hung a grocery bag on his ears and pretended it was a beard of some kind. "I'm not in the mood for THAT tonight," said the new girl as she slowly backed away. STEEEEERIKE TWO!!
The sun was setting and the mosquitos were starting to come out, but the new girl felt obligated to try at least one more time. She decided to go sit in an open spot in a circle of people sitting on the ground. She met three people and exchanged names with them. Things seemed to be going well - none of them expressed no vacancy in their friendship basket. Then, before the new girl could think of something to ask or a clever anecdote to chip away at the ice, the people began getting up one by one and she was soon left the only one in the. . . . circle of one. Strike Three, YOU'RE OUT-A HERE!!!

After that, I realized it wasn't worth being eaten alive by the mosquitos. I walked home wondering what the area family ward would be like. I soon decided, though, that I shouldn't judge everything on this experience and the fact that people at church would just as soon look your way from across the room as they would actually walk within ear shot and talk to you. Perhaps I just came to the ward on a couple of bad weeks. I'd give it one more week and if there was no improvement, I would seriously consider relocating.

I went to church and met a couple of really nice people. Redemption for the ward was in sight - maybe. I decided to go to ward prayer and see if I couldn't meet some other people who were nice. The girl who gave the talk regaled us all of the friendliness of the ward and how wonderful and welcome she had felt from the moment she came. "What a load of bull honkey," I thought. I've never been in a ward from which I wanted to escape before this one. But there were the couple of redeeming people that popped up just at the right time.

Then, tonight at family home evening, one of the group leaders gave the thought. She shared her experience of coming to this ward a couple of years ago and hating it. She didn't feel welcome and she said it was really hard to break the ice and it just didn't hold a candle to her fantastic ward from before and she went FHE inactive. "Familiar story," I thought, "except for the fantastic ward from before." Then she said that after a year or so, she forced herself to go back to FHE and she ended up developing fantastic friendships and they were really close to one another and cared for each other through really difficult times, yadda, yadda, yadda. I was getting the message.

After the several people who came through and opened up to my efforts right before I was going to give up on them all and go away; and after all the talks about people feeling such friendship from the people in the ward and the lessons on being active and pushing through the sludge, I nearly had to yell, "ENOUGH!! I get it. I've given this ward a second chance and they've stepped up to the plate. Maybe I should drop my wall a little and see what there is here." I guess prayers are answered. I really needed someone - ANYONE - to reach out and make room for me and I've started to meet some good people. It's hard enough to try to make new friends when you're all alone, but when you've come up against an iceberg of a facade to chip through, it makes it that much harder to get up the strength to do it some more. I'm looking forward to my visiting teachers coming. I think I'm going to hunt down my bishop and let him know that I need strong home teachers too. I've not had really great and steady home teachers since I was in the 180th ward. . . . Ben, Ian, and Phil.

Did you get it? I got it. Good.